Here I Go Again

I don't know where I'm going

But, I sure know where I've been

Hanging on the promises

In songs of yesterday

An' I've made up my mind,

I ain't wasting no more time

But, here I go again

Here I go again

Those lyrics from Whitesnake are oddly appropriate for next week as I will be heading down to South Carolina to participate in the Super Bowl of F3, the legendary USMC Leatherneck mud run!  Here I go again on another fitness adventure, but I'm not going on my own as the song says.

Just last Saturday I celebrated my one year anniversary in F3 by going back to where it all started for me - Ascent.  Ascent is a moderate Saturday F3 workout, but moderate doesn't equal easy and I didn't bring an easy workout either but I was so excited to see a new guy join F3 last week and I see today he's posted again today.  That's what it's all about.  You post to get in shape, you don't get in shape then post.

Besides being a bit scared, I'm so excited to finally see the true brotherhood that is F3 in action in the biggest way yet in my life.  I am running with three brothers from my Friday/Saturday workouts in Union County and all of them are strong and will probably be pulling me along at some point, but it's not about me, or them, it's about us.  It's about the team that is F3.  I Am Third is one of the many mantras of F3, but when it happens, what an amazing thing it is.  When a brother kneels down on the ground to allow me to climb on his leg so I can scale a wall, that's I Am Third.  When brothers are cheering me on or ensuring I'm safe, or any number of things, that's I Am Third and it's what our world is dying for.

Our world has sold us many lies, but one of the biggest is that to find true joy in life, you need to focus on yourself. It's a lie.

How did Mother Theresa, Gandhi, St. Francis of Assisi, the Lord Jesus or any number of great people of the past make their mark?  Not through touting themselves, but by serving others.  

I'm not talking about selling it all and moving to India, but sometimes that's what it takes for someone to follow the heart of God.

But what are you doing today that helps someone else?  It doesn't have to be complicated, it might be as simple as leading a workout, smiling at a stranger on the street, NOT cursing at someone who is being obnoxious in the car, or it could be moving to Africa and falling in love with her people and working to make someone else's life better.

We don't do these things to earn God's favor, if you are a child of God you already have that.  We do these things out of gratitude for what God did for us on the Cross so many years ago.

God took on human flesh, lived a perfect life for thirty-three years, then gave it all up to be beaten to a bloody pulp and give up his life on a nasty, cruel cross.  That's how much God loved you and me.  If God loves you that much, can't you take a moment to help someone else along the way?  

Until next time...

310

2005 - Mexico Mission Trip

The breaking of a bathroom scale started me down a journey this week that resulted in my fully realizing what my top weight was - 310lbs.  Yes, 310.

And it wasn't just one time in my life I was that heavy, but at least twice.  The photo is from 2005 when I was at or around that same weight.

It takes a lot for me to publicly admit that I let myself get that big.  Many people will only tell you those numbers after they've lost all their weight, but I want to share it as a challenge to myself to continue this journey, and to others who think they can't even start.

I've lost around 55-60lbs., so you can do the math and figure out what I currently weight.  But that number isn't a totally accurate picture as I've put on a lot of muscle the past year or two just from working out and being so heavy.  You figure I was doing pushups with the equivalent of almost two fully loaded rucks on me!

The past two weeks at the F3 workout known as Skunkworks, I noticed a big change in my endurance.  Of course with any new thing, it takes a while to build up your endurance, but it's taken almost six months to get to where I could actually complete a Skunkworks workout without stopping, skipping a set, whatever.  But the past two weeks, I completed the whole set, and didn't skip anything!  Shocked is the word I would use.  It's a very nice surprise to say the least.

It would be so easy to brag on myself that I'm over half way to my goal weight, but it would be ridiculous, yes, ridiculous to do so.  F3 has made such an impact on me and is one reason that this journey has continued.

I had no idea how much I was missing out on by missing out on F3.  I had no real male leadership in my life.  I had no one challenging me to push myself and to break down barriers.  Mental as well as physical barriers were deeply entrenched and constantly told me I wasn't worthy, I wasn't worth anything and to not expect much out of life.  I still battle those voices, many times on a daily basis, but they don't win in the end.  F3 has become so entrenched in my life now, that it's not going away.  It simply is part of my life and part of who I am and who I'm becoming.

Friday is a good example.  I got up about 4:15 to get ready to workout at F3 and so I left with plenty of time to make it there by 5:30.  I'm less than a mile from the school when traffic comes to a complete stop.  There is a train blocking my way.  After several minutes, I decide I will have to turn around and find another way to the school.

On my way I call a F3 brother to let him know of the issue.  He calls back shortly and tells me that the train has been stopped there for at least 30 minutes.  Great. 

At this point a temptation came - give it up and just go to breakfast!

I kept going and arrived at the school about 15 minutes late.  Then came the another temptation - No one was within sight, I was tempted to leave.

Of course unbeknownst to me, the two F3 brothers that made it to the school despite the train, had spotted me and were on the way back to the parking lot to pick me up.

We take off to the track and we do a quick warm up then head over to a hill for some hill work along with burpees - yes burpees, my mortal enemy.

Then came another temptation - Burpees are hard!  Don't do them and say you are modifying!  Thankfully I ignored that temptation as well and started doing burpees.  To my surprise, I was able to do all 45 burpees in the set!  Another big milestone for me.

I didn't even mention that my car had made a strange noise on the way to F3, and I was tempted to call it off before I even got stopped by the train!

So I share all this to encourage you and let you know that sometimes you won't have it easy trying to change your life.

Sometimes the weather is perfect, the temperature is perfect, you did your laundry and have clean workout clothes, you got a good night's rest, on and on.

But many times things will not workout for your workout.  Workout anyway. 

If you're late to workout, go anyway.  If the car makes weird noises, workout anyway.  If the weather sucks, workout anyway.  Just keep going, if anything you will find out that you can do things you never thought possible, if you'll just stay consistent.  If you wait until life is perfect, then I can guarantee you'll never change your life.  It was true for me.

I worked out at a boot camp before and while I was pretty consistent, I also too easily would give up on being there.  It's raining hard?  Can't go.  I'm sore from Tuesday?  Can't go.   On and on, you get the point.

This winter though out in the cold has somehow built a resolve in me to not give up and to show up workout after workout, no matter what the conditions.  And the one or two times I did want to bail, my F3 brothers didn't let it slide and they got me to post anyway.  Even in 8 degrees!

I have no idea if this means anything to anyone besides me, but if you've read this far, don't give up.  Whatever you have going on in life, don't give up.  There is someone, maybe many someone's that love you and would be devastated if you suddenly were gone.

This past weekend a dear friend suddenly passed away, apparently from a heart attack.  It would be easy to point a finger and say he wasn't taking care of himself, but I don't know that to be true or not.  For all I know, he may have been doing the best he could.

But either way, we should all do our best to take care of our bodies.  It's the only one we're going to get in this life, and if you don't take care of yours then you don't get another. 

I hope this will encourage someone along the way to take care of their health and life and to push your boundaries.  Find a group of people, F3, FIA or whoever that will push you, encourage you and not leave you behind when things get hard.

Until next time...

Hey Big Guy! - Why Bullying Is Not Cool At Any Age

 

It's been a few weeks since I posted and this time I thought it would be worth talking about something I had to deal with for many years as an obese man - bullying.

 

This picture was of me last Christmas at or near my heaviest weight (yet again).

 

Thankfully I've since gone on to lose 56lbs.

One of the issues besides the health issues I had to deal with the last ten years or so was what I'll call Adult Bullying. 

You see, many men especially find it appropriate to bully other men if those men happen to be overweight.  You get a lot of "Hey big guy!" "How you doing big guy!?" "I see you're still heavy big guy!".  I noticed the past few months though that this has stopped for me.  Nobody has called me that in months.

But when did it become appropriate to walk up to any person, friend or stranger and comment on their weight?  When did it become OK to commentate on someone else's struggle?

It's like walking up to an alcoholic and saying "Hey wine-o!".  Would that be appropriate?  I really don't think so.

But in our society, food and obesity seem to be fair game and open season.  It's not as if men are the only guilty ones.  I hear women's comments about their fellow females: anything from a jealous comment about a woman losing weight, to comments about how fat someone has gotten.

It's not cool, it's not funny and it's not OK.  As Thumper said If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all.  Aside from the grammar, Thumper has it right.

Be a little kinder to your fellow man or woman out there.  Think about how you would feel if someone walked up to you and said "Hey big guy/girl!".

Until next time...

The Year Of Wes - In Conclusion

2014 has almost passed us by, and I must come full circle, with thanksgiving and give a final report on the Year Of Wes.

As mentioned in an earlier post, at the start of the this year my friend and former trainer Jason had challenged me to take on 2014 as the Year of Wes.

What started with hope, turned into success, and then some.

As you can clearly see in the graphic, a lot happened for me this year and more is hoped for next year.

Before I jump into talking more about myself than I probably should, I would be remiss to not mention the passing of my mother two weeks before Christmas this year.  Mom had a rough year, and it took a nosedive in the summer when she was first hospitalized.

After a courageous battle and decision to face death head-on, Mom went to be with the Lord two weeks to the day before Christmas. 

As you can imagine this was very hard for me, and many tears were shed even though I believe that she is in a much better place.

I am grateful, among many things, that Mom got to see me drop so much weight this year.  Being a retired nurse, she was always concerned about my weight.

With the love, support and prayers of many, including my F3 brothers I am making it through these days of grief and reflection.

It would be easy to get down during the Christmas season with Mom's passing, and there have been rough days, but there is still Hope for me in this life and the next and that includes taking care of my health.

I won't rattle off the accomplishments of the year, you can read them above.  I will however say that this year has been one of the most transformative ones in my 42 years on this planet.

You're like sure Wes, you dropped 56 lbs., that's transformative.  Well, sure.  But like anything it starts deeper than skin-deep.

I had no idea what I was missing coming into 2014, and it was true male leadership in my life. 

The guys in F3 and SPEARHEAD have challenged me, and encouraged me all along the way to keep pushing and keep changing.

Many mornings at F3, not much is said, but I'm deeply inspired by these guys who are my brothers now, and amazed not only at their physical fitness levels, but the size of the hearts.

Our society has reduced male society to some macho, drinking, sexist community when true male society is so far removed from all that.

True men lead by example, and inspire by doing what many refuse to do.  Namely get up before the crack of dawn to work their bodies to the point of exhaustion.

I've met men more than thirty years my senior who can run laps around me, and can still kick serious butt in life and in a workout.

The gym lie (I don't hate gyms, just not a fan anymore) tells you that you can do it all -- alone.  Well I couldn't.  I had a gym membership and hated it.

I never laughed. I never talked to anyone there.  There was no community there as the sales rep had told me there would be.  Strangely enough that gym has since gone out of business. Coincidence?

But at F3 we're laughing and cutting up, and sweating and sucking wind, and pushing each other and then when it's all said and done we go eat!  Well, at least on Saturdays.

People have told me that F3 sounds too intense.  It sounds too hard.  It's just as hard as you want to make it.  Honestly the hardest thing about F3 is showing up the first time.  Many of the workouts you set your own pace.  If you're a slow runner, run slow.  You'll get faster in time.

Then after a few times, you find you don't hate it quite as bad.  Then suddenly you miss it when you are sick, or out of town or whatever.

Soon you find yourself doing races and doing things like GORUCK that you thought were physically impossible for you to do.  But there you are, doing them.

So don't believe the lies you've been told.  It's too hard, it's too long, you'll get bored, you'll get injured, you won't find any friends, on and on. 

Step out and try F3 or FIA (for ladies) and you may just have your own Year Of (Insert Name Here).

I'm amazed, humbled, shocked, inspired and challenged by all that 2014 has brought me and excited to see even more goals crushed with a little help from my friends next year.

Best wishes for a wonderful new year, and here's to the Year Of Wes 2.0!

2014 - A Different Kind of Year

The other day I was updating accomplishments and achievements on my Facebook page and realized that all of mine for 2014 were health related!  Nothing I've done for the year was really amusement park or roller coaster related this year, it was all about races, weight loss, rucks, etc.  Wow, what a shift for me.

Now first I'll say that, no, I'm not giving up roller coasters, this year was just a down year for me financially and I wasn't able to travel.  2015 though I plan to hit the road for more coasters!

But it's pretty crazy for a guy that couldn't run 1/4 mile the start of 2013, to have completed three 5k's, one 10k and a GORUCK event is pretty wild.

While it would be easy to pat myself on the back and tell myself I did all this, it's simply not true.  Friends, family, F3 brothers, GORUCK brothers and sisters and others have all been part of this journey.

Some didn't even really say anything to me, but their character, toughness, fitness, or whatever inspired me to keep plugging on.

Several went through major physical ailments and still kept their heads up and kept moving forward.

One I know inspired me by his failure.  We are all human, and we need each other to make it through this life. 

If you need help, ask for it.  Pride is useless, humble yourself and ask for help.  Most people are more than happy to help if you simply ask.

Until next time...

Amazing What A Few Inches Can Do

Greetings friends and followers of my little blog, back with an update that is about a month late.  Not a lot has happened on the scale, but a lot has happened in other areas of my weight loss journey.

Still sticking with the 5:2 Diet and working out at F3, and it continues to pay off.

On September 20, I attended ACE Southeast's SCarolina Coaster Classic, coaster event at Carowinds.

This was my first opportunity to visit Carowinds in a few months and wow did I see a big difference on the coasters.

The coaster shown is Afterburn (some may remember it as Top Gun: The Jet Coaster) and for the longest time it has been a battle for me to fit on the coaster.  But not on the 20th!

My favorite place to ride on Afterburn is in the back row, the forces are the strongest there and I really love it.  But the back row has been a struggle for a long, long time because the belts would many times be too short for me because I was so overweight.

There were times I would barely fit, with the ride attendants struggling to get the belt locked. There were times I was turned away or given the option of the big-boy-seats, which have longer seat belts but are in the middle of the train and don't offer the same G forces.

On the 20th I sat down in the seat and pulled my seat belt and locked it and low and behold it was loose!  I can't remember the last time I had an inch or two of slack on my seatbelt for any B&M inverted coaster.

As you may know my whole reason, besides my health, to lose weight began when I was denied riding El Toro in New Jersey.   Today I think I would fit!  Of course I'm not stopping, I'm going for the gold and while I'm already thinner than I've been in over a decade, I want to go about 30 or 40 more pounds down and then find a way to maintain that weight the rest of my life.

For years I've had roller coaster t-shirts hanging in my closet that no longer fit.  I obviously bought them when I was thinner, but I just held on to them hoping some day I could fit in them again.  Well they all fit now!  I'm actually wearing a Millennium Force shirt today that hasn't been loose on me since probably I bought it in 2003.

I'm running a 5k Sunday (my third since June 2013) and I'm hoping to best my last race time.  I'm also planning to do my first mud run in April!  I always seem to be scared before the next challenge, but I also know that I'll get through it.

If you're thinking about doing a mud run in the future, F3 has a new men's mud run workout!   The Brave (the name of the workout) meets at The Vine at 5:15 on Fridays.

2015 will also hold my second GORUCK Light, my first 24 Hours of Booty, and possibly a GORUCK Challenge. 

Lots of stuff to keep me excited and motivated as I continue the Year of Wes with v2.0.

El Toro I'm coming to conquer you!  Ole!

Thanks for reading along and until next time please sit on your sandals!

Now That's Better

Tonight I had the strangest feeling, I felt sort of like... Homer Simpson! Let me explain.

Back when I used to actually watch The Simpsons, there was an episode where Homer went on a diet.  What resulted was utter chaos.

The doughnut company was all in a panic because they weren't selling doughnuts anymore, Homer was their biggest customer.

The convenience store was hurting because Homer wasn't coming in to buy those doughnuts from them.  Those two facts may be blurred a bit by time but that was what I took from the episode.

That all leads me to the reason I've made Wendy frown on the classic version of Wendy's logo.

Tonight for only I believe the second time in about three or four months I went through the drive through at my local Wendy's.

The first time they said something to the affect of "Where have you been? We've missed you!".   The second time, tonight, they basically were like "Um, why aren't you coming by and eating here anymore?"  When I told them that it was due to my dietary changes, they basically blew me off and didn't even offer a "Great job, or good luck with that!".  I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

Most businesses are all about making money, and when their customers tell them they aren't going to be coming by much anymore I guess their reaction is to kick you to the curb and keep it moving.  Sad to say I thought the guy was actually pretty nice to me, but I guess he was just buttering me up all along to get some money out of me.  Maybe I'm being harsh, but that's the way it feels.

I don't hate Wendy's, obviously I still like the place or I wouldn't have patronized them tonight.  But it was kind of one of those lines in the sand.

Sure I enjoy a splurge every now and then on the diet, but I refuse to go back to the guy I used to be who went to Wendy's almost weekly and got cheese fries, oh yeah and another order of them too.  Yes, that's right I would get two orders of cheese fries each time.

We've all got our weaknesses, mine has never been alcohol or drugs, but mine has always been food.  Food isn't evil, food can't be demonized like alcohol or drugs and you need it to survive.

But finding a balance in what I consume is still a struggle some days.

It's easy to tell myself I can make up the difference on my two fasting days, but that's the exact thing that got me to three hundred pounds - compromise.  Compromise once in a while is fine, but when its every day, every week, month after month it all starts to add pounds and add up.

I know very few people read this blog and that is fine, but if anyone does actually read along I hope that you'll be encouraged by my struggles.

Yes I've had great success this year, but I'm still very human and can easily fall off the wagon.  I hope that doesn't happen, I'm very focused and determined that I will not go back where I've came from.

But as I was reminded watching the first season of House of Cards, it only takes one step in the wrong direction and your whole world can fall apart.

Thank the Lord for his grace and mercy, he keeps me from many blunders, but I also have a big part in this transformation.  I've got to reach out for help when I need it, I've got to kick my butt when I need to and I've also got to really celebrate and be content with how far I've come.

Wherever this post finds you, I hope it finds you well.  If it doesn't I hope you'll come along with me on this journey and we'll both be better for it.  Now that's better!

Until next time...