Ole! Revenge Is Sweet!

Hello again readers, if you've been following this blog for any amount of time you know of my weight struggles, and how I finally started down the road towards better health after being denied riding El Toro, a wooden coaster at Six Flags Great Adventure.

So June 10 rolled around, almost five years since I was last denied riding the monster.

After joining F3, doing the 5:2 Diet and trying my best to stick with the program, losing between 50 and 60lbs. I thought I was probably safe heading back to the park for another try.

I walked into the park and headed straight for the coaster, figuring I needed to be at my smallest to make sure I had a fighting chance to fit.  Some don't know that your body actually expands during the day, due to water intake and other factors.

I stopped at the dreaded test seat and couldn't get a green light.  This wasn't looking good.  But I knew from five years ago, that the test seat was more stringent than the actual coaster restraints.

There was no one in line yet, well only a few, so I was grateful if I had to do the Walk of Shame again, it wouldn't be in front of a lot of eyes.

I sat down, pulled the seat belt on, and I could tell I had a little more room in the seat belt than five years ago, so who knows, maybe this would end well.

To my surprise the crew was actually very helpful this time around, and with a few pushes on my restraint, I got the all-clear!

We quickly ascended the lift hill and the moment I had dreamed of for many months was finally coming true as we careened down that 76° drop.  The drop was amazing, the rest of the ride was honestly kind of painful because of the horrible restraint.  But mission accomplished, El Toro was mine!

So what now?  Well, one goal is finished, but time to set some more goals.  I still need to lose at least another 30lbs. and I'm refocusing on that.

I'm thankful for how far I've come, and the great thing is with F3, I'll never arrive.  I can always get stronger, healthier, faster (ha!), but my brothers will always keep pushing me and until I take my last breathe, I'll keep on pushing.

I was amazed this trip at my stamina. Five years ago I visited three parks in two days and I was exhausted by the second day.

This trip I visited nine parks in seven days and drove nearly two-thousand miles and until the very end of the trip, I really wasn't what I would call exhausted.  Thankfully all those coasters and walking each day pretty much guaranteed I was out cold at the end of the day and slept well.

So a 43-year-old me, easily was in better shape than the 38-year-old version of myself, that was denied El Toro, and started down this road.

What does the future hold?  Not sure at this point, but you know I'm not giving up.

Until next time.

T-Minus 9 Days!

Hello again Friends, it's about that time... when I try again to conquer El Toro at Six Flags Great Adventure!

If you go back to my first post, you'll read that back in 2010 I was denied riding the #1 ranked wooden coaster in the world, located on the outskirts of Philadelphia and it inspired me to start searching for a way to lose weight.

Along the journey to lose weight, I've discovered F3, GORUCK and all kinds of silly things like 5k's, 10k's and mud runs, all of which I've already completed with a little help from my friends.

I'm somewhere in the neighborhood now of 60lbs. down, with a goal to lose another 30 or so before I learn to settle into being skinny again for the first time in a very, very long time.

Recently I was able to buy my first 36" pants and shorts in probably fifteen years!

That brings me to this post: nine days from now I'll be hopefully riding El Toro for the first time!  I say hopefully, because after you've taken the Walk of Shame too many times, you never assume you are going to fit on a coaster, especially one so restrictive like El Toro.

Going into this weight loss journey, I was prepared I think, for the physical aspects but had no idea the emotional impact such a journey would take on me.

There are days I get depressed because I'm still overweight, still technically considered obese, then there are days I feel like nothing can stop me and the weight doesn't stand a chance.  This is why F3 has become vital for me.

F3 is full of thousands of guys, some serious athletes, at least one actual Olympian is in the F3 south Charlotte brotherhood now, but most are just average guys just trying to get better.

Many though have never been seriously overweight as I have been, and while they empathize with me, they really don't know what it's like to be so overweight you can't see your feet, so overweight that the weight of your arms puts pressure on your body while in bed to the point of stopping normal circulation, so overweight that you have skin issues, with being so heavy and skin rubbing against skin and causing sores and all other painful issues.  But they still encourage, still push me, still drag me along sometimes. OK, maybe not literally the last one, but certainly emotionally.

It amazes me when anyone says they are inspired by me, it's so easy to look at myself and forget how far I've come, to forget how strong I've gotten, and to forget that I'm well over half way home on the weight loss!

When a friend who I consider a real American hero, serving our country overseas while his wife is home taking care of seven children, because he'd "rather fight them over there, than at home." calls me an inspiration, and wants to do GORUCK when he gets home because I've gotten into GORUCK, it simply blows me away and humbles me, and shocks me a bit too.

When I consider that just a year and two months ago, I could barely survive a F3 workout, and now I've lead about twelve or thirteen workouts now, I just smile and shake my head.

Even though the Bible was talking really of spiritual things, I can't help but feel that 1 Corinthians 1:28 somehow applies to me:

God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are...

It's like me leading F3 workouts, what am I doing?  There are guys in much better shape than I,  who can run rings around me, but there I am.  But that's the great thing about the Body of Christ, God gifts us all with different gifts, different skills, we don't all know it all, and we haven't all achieved it all.

So, who knows if I'll fit on El Toro this time around.  I sure hope so.  But if I don't, I'm not giving up on this journey.  I've learned too much, I've been inspired and pulled into things that have reignited a passion for life, country, my fellow man and God (not in that order) and I'm excited about my life now, I'm excited about what the future holds.  Two years ago I would never have said that.  Never.

So if you're out there, and like me you struggle with your weight, an addiction, whatever, don't give up.  God is there reaching out to you, it may be through someone smiling as you walk your dog, it may be in a brother kicking you in the rear to keep running, whatever it is, God works in our lives, if we let Him.

Look for an update soon about the results of my trip, here's hoping and praying that I'm able to ride the bull! Ole!

Until next time...

310

2005 - Mexico Mission Trip

The breaking of a bathroom scale started me down a journey this week that resulted in my fully realizing what my top weight was - 310lbs.  Yes, 310.

And it wasn't just one time in my life I was that heavy, but at least twice.  The photo is from 2005 when I was at or around that same weight.

It takes a lot for me to publicly admit that I let myself get that big.  Many people will only tell you those numbers after they've lost all their weight, but I want to share it as a challenge to myself to continue this journey, and to others who think they can't even start.

I've lost around 55-60lbs., so you can do the math and figure out what I currently weight.  But that number isn't a totally accurate picture as I've put on a lot of muscle the past year or two just from working out and being so heavy.  You figure I was doing pushups with the equivalent of almost two fully loaded rucks on me!

The past two weeks at the F3 workout known as Skunkworks, I noticed a big change in my endurance.  Of course with any new thing, it takes a while to build up your endurance, but it's taken almost six months to get to where I could actually complete a Skunkworks workout without stopping, skipping a set, whatever.  But the past two weeks, I completed the whole set, and didn't skip anything!  Shocked is the word I would use.  It's a very nice surprise to say the least.

It would be so easy to brag on myself that I'm over half way to my goal weight, but it would be ridiculous, yes, ridiculous to do so.  F3 has made such an impact on me and is one reason that this journey has continued.

I had no idea how much I was missing out on by missing out on F3.  I had no real male leadership in my life.  I had no one challenging me to push myself and to break down barriers.  Mental as well as physical barriers were deeply entrenched and constantly told me I wasn't worthy, I wasn't worth anything and to not expect much out of life.  I still battle those voices, many times on a daily basis, but they don't win in the end.  F3 has become so entrenched in my life now, that it's not going away.  It simply is part of my life and part of who I am and who I'm becoming.

Friday is a good example.  I got up about 4:15 to get ready to workout at F3 and so I left with plenty of time to make it there by 5:30.  I'm less than a mile from the school when traffic comes to a complete stop.  There is a train blocking my way.  After several minutes, I decide I will have to turn around and find another way to the school.

On my way I call a F3 brother to let him know of the issue.  He calls back shortly and tells me that the train has been stopped there for at least 30 minutes.  Great. 

At this point a temptation came - give it up and just go to breakfast!

I kept going and arrived at the school about 15 minutes late.  Then came the another temptation - No one was within sight, I was tempted to leave.

Of course unbeknownst to me, the two F3 brothers that made it to the school despite the train, had spotted me and were on the way back to the parking lot to pick me up.

We take off to the track and we do a quick warm up then head over to a hill for some hill work along with burpees - yes burpees, my mortal enemy.

Then came another temptation - Burpees are hard!  Don't do them and say you are modifying!  Thankfully I ignored that temptation as well and started doing burpees.  To my surprise, I was able to do all 45 burpees in the set!  Another big milestone for me.

I didn't even mention that my car had made a strange noise on the way to F3, and I was tempted to call it off before I even got stopped by the train!

So I share all this to encourage you and let you know that sometimes you won't have it easy trying to change your life.

Sometimes the weather is perfect, the temperature is perfect, you did your laundry and have clean workout clothes, you got a good night's rest, on and on.

But many times things will not workout for your workout.  Workout anyway. 

If you're late to workout, go anyway.  If the car makes weird noises, workout anyway.  If the weather sucks, workout anyway.  Just keep going, if anything you will find out that you can do things you never thought possible, if you'll just stay consistent.  If you wait until life is perfect, then I can guarantee you'll never change your life.  It was true for me.

I worked out at a boot camp before and while I was pretty consistent, I also too easily would give up on being there.  It's raining hard?  Can't go.  I'm sore from Tuesday?  Can't go.   On and on, you get the point.

This winter though out in the cold has somehow built a resolve in me to not give up and to show up workout after workout, no matter what the conditions.  And the one or two times I did want to bail, my F3 brothers didn't let it slide and they got me to post anyway.  Even in 8 degrees!

I have no idea if this means anything to anyone besides me, but if you've read this far, don't give up.  Whatever you have going on in life, don't give up.  There is someone, maybe many someone's that love you and would be devastated if you suddenly were gone.

This past weekend a dear friend suddenly passed away, apparently from a heart attack.  It would be easy to point a finger and say he wasn't taking care of himself, but I don't know that to be true or not.  For all I know, he may have been doing the best he could.

But either way, we should all do our best to take care of our bodies.  It's the only one we're going to get in this life, and if you don't take care of yours then you don't get another. 

I hope this will encourage someone along the way to take care of their health and life and to push your boundaries.  Find a group of people, F3, FIA or whoever that will push you, encourage you and not leave you behind when things get hard.

Until next time...

Hey Big Guy! - Why Bullying Is Not Cool At Any Age

 

It's been a few weeks since I posted and this time I thought it would be worth talking about something I had to deal with for many years as an obese man - bullying.

 

This picture was of me last Christmas at or near my heaviest weight (yet again).

 

Thankfully I've since gone on to lose 56lbs.

One of the issues besides the health issues I had to deal with the last ten years or so was what I'll call Adult Bullying. 

You see, many men especially find it appropriate to bully other men if those men happen to be overweight.  You get a lot of "Hey big guy!" "How you doing big guy!?" "I see you're still heavy big guy!".  I noticed the past few months though that this has stopped for me.  Nobody has called me that in months.

But when did it become appropriate to walk up to any person, friend or stranger and comment on their weight?  When did it become OK to commentate on someone else's struggle?

It's like walking up to an alcoholic and saying "Hey wine-o!".  Would that be appropriate?  I really don't think so.

But in our society, food and obesity seem to be fair game and open season.  It's not as if men are the only guilty ones.  I hear women's comments about their fellow females: anything from a jealous comment about a woman losing weight, to comments about how fat someone has gotten.

It's not cool, it's not funny and it's not OK.  As Thumper said If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all.  Aside from the grammar, Thumper has it right.

Be a little kinder to your fellow man or woman out there.  Think about how you would feel if someone walked up to you and said "Hey big guy/girl!".

Until next time...

The Year Of Wes - In Conclusion

2014 has almost passed us by, and I must come full circle, with thanksgiving and give a final report on the Year Of Wes.

As mentioned in an earlier post, at the start of the this year my friend and former trainer Jason had challenged me to take on 2014 as the Year of Wes.

What started with hope, turned into success, and then some.

As you can clearly see in the graphic, a lot happened for me this year and more is hoped for next year.

Before I jump into talking more about myself than I probably should, I would be remiss to not mention the passing of my mother two weeks before Christmas this year.  Mom had a rough year, and it took a nosedive in the summer when she was first hospitalized.

After a courageous battle and decision to face death head-on, Mom went to be with the Lord two weeks to the day before Christmas. 

As you can imagine this was very hard for me, and many tears were shed even though I believe that she is in a much better place.

I am grateful, among many things, that Mom got to see me drop so much weight this year.  Being a retired nurse, she was always concerned about my weight.

With the love, support and prayers of many, including my F3 brothers I am making it through these days of grief and reflection.

It would be easy to get down during the Christmas season with Mom's passing, and there have been rough days, but there is still Hope for me in this life and the next and that includes taking care of my health.

I won't rattle off the accomplishments of the year, you can read them above.  I will however say that this year has been one of the most transformative ones in my 42 years on this planet.

You're like sure Wes, you dropped 56 lbs., that's transformative.  Well, sure.  But like anything it starts deeper than skin-deep.

I had no idea what I was missing coming into 2014, and it was true male leadership in my life. 

The guys in F3 and SPEARHEAD have challenged me, and encouraged me all along the way to keep pushing and keep changing.

Many mornings at F3, not much is said, but I'm deeply inspired by these guys who are my brothers now, and amazed not only at their physical fitness levels, but the size of the hearts.

Our society has reduced male society to some macho, drinking, sexist community when true male society is so far removed from all that.

True men lead by example, and inspire by doing what many refuse to do.  Namely get up before the crack of dawn to work their bodies to the point of exhaustion.

I've met men more than thirty years my senior who can run laps around me, and can still kick serious butt in life and in a workout.

The gym lie (I don't hate gyms, just not a fan anymore) tells you that you can do it all -- alone.  Well I couldn't.  I had a gym membership and hated it.

I never laughed. I never talked to anyone there.  There was no community there as the sales rep had told me there would be.  Strangely enough that gym has since gone out of business. Coincidence?

But at F3 we're laughing and cutting up, and sweating and sucking wind, and pushing each other and then when it's all said and done we go eat!  Well, at least on Saturdays.

People have told me that F3 sounds too intense.  It sounds too hard.  It's just as hard as you want to make it.  Honestly the hardest thing about F3 is showing up the first time.  Many of the workouts you set your own pace.  If you're a slow runner, run slow.  You'll get faster in time.

Then after a few times, you find you don't hate it quite as bad.  Then suddenly you miss it when you are sick, or out of town or whatever.

Soon you find yourself doing races and doing things like GORUCK that you thought were physically impossible for you to do.  But there you are, doing them.

So don't believe the lies you've been told.  It's too hard, it's too long, you'll get bored, you'll get injured, you won't find any friends, on and on. 

Step out and try F3 or FIA (for ladies) and you may just have your own Year Of (Insert Name Here).

I'm amazed, humbled, shocked, inspired and challenged by all that 2014 has brought me and excited to see even more goals crushed with a little help from my friends next year.

Best wishes for a wonderful new year, and here's to the Year Of Wes 2.0!

Amazing What A Few Inches Can Do

Greetings friends and followers of my little blog, back with an update that is about a month late.  Not a lot has happened on the scale, but a lot has happened in other areas of my weight loss journey.

Still sticking with the 5:2 Diet and working out at F3, and it continues to pay off.

On September 20, I attended ACE Southeast's SCarolina Coaster Classic, coaster event at Carowinds.

This was my first opportunity to visit Carowinds in a few months and wow did I see a big difference on the coasters.

The coaster shown is Afterburn (some may remember it as Top Gun: The Jet Coaster) and for the longest time it has been a battle for me to fit on the coaster.  But not on the 20th!

My favorite place to ride on Afterburn is in the back row, the forces are the strongest there and I really love it.  But the back row has been a struggle for a long, long time because the belts would many times be too short for me because I was so overweight.

There were times I would barely fit, with the ride attendants struggling to get the belt locked. There were times I was turned away or given the option of the big-boy-seats, which have longer seat belts but are in the middle of the train and don't offer the same G forces.

On the 20th I sat down in the seat and pulled my seat belt and locked it and low and behold it was loose!  I can't remember the last time I had an inch or two of slack on my seatbelt for any B&M inverted coaster.

As you may know my whole reason, besides my health, to lose weight began when I was denied riding El Toro in New Jersey.   Today I think I would fit!  Of course I'm not stopping, I'm going for the gold and while I'm already thinner than I've been in over a decade, I want to go about 30 or 40 more pounds down and then find a way to maintain that weight the rest of my life.

For years I've had roller coaster t-shirts hanging in my closet that no longer fit.  I obviously bought them when I was thinner, but I just held on to them hoping some day I could fit in them again.  Well they all fit now!  I'm actually wearing a Millennium Force shirt today that hasn't been loose on me since probably I bought it in 2003.

I'm running a 5k Sunday (my third since June 2013) and I'm hoping to best my last race time.  I'm also planning to do my first mud run in April!  I always seem to be scared before the next challenge, but I also know that I'll get through it.

If you're thinking about doing a mud run in the future, F3 has a new men's mud run workout!   The Brave (the name of the workout) meets at The Vine at 5:15 on Fridays.

2015 will also hold my second GORUCK Light, my first 24 Hours of Booty, and possibly a GORUCK Challenge. 

Lots of stuff to keep me excited and motivated as I continue the Year of Wes with v2.0.

El Toro I'm coming to conquer you!  Ole!

Thanks for reading along and until next time please sit on your sandals!

Yes You Can!

Hey everyone, back for another post and some more progress reports.

This one is going to be a bit different though, I want to focus on you this time and not really about me.  I will use my own story of course, but if this blog is going to make any difference at all it has to become more about you than me.

Yesterday I did something that I literally thought was crazy just a year ago.  I did a GoRuck custom event!  Turns out it was the biggest custom GoRuck event in history!  How cool is that?  So you're already thinking, what is GoRuck?  Glad you asked!

GoRuck, or rucking is a civilian's best chance without enlisting to find out what a Special Operations' or Special Forces training regiment is like. The event I participated in was called a Light.  Light doesn't mean easy, no way.  Light refers to the fact that you're doing the event during the day.  Many of the other GoRuck events take place mostly at night.

GoRuck: Red Light & Blue took place in Charlotte and supported Charlotte Bridge Home, an amazing organization that supports our troops in the Charlotte area and assists them in so many ways like helping them with their job search after leaving the military.

OK so I have to give a bit of background on myself to give you a picture of where this is going.

December 2013 after many months of frustration in finding a diet (in the best sense of that word) that would help me to lose the weight I'd been carrying around for years I came across the 5:2 Diet, as I've mentioned several times.  To date I'm down 40 lbs.!

In March 2014 I joined F3 and took the fitness part of the puzzle to a new level.  I was working out before, but F3 certainly kicked my rear into another gear.  Hey, that rhymed.

One of my friends at the time joked that I would be doing a ruck event before I knew it.  I laughed because I never really dreamed he would be right.

Yesterday's ruck was an amazing way to celebrate 9 months of weight loss and life transformation, but again this isn't about me, it's about you.

You are facing a battle every day I have no idea what it is.  You may be battling financial hardship, I've been there.  I didn't know where money was going to come from at one point in 2013.  But I got through it by the grace of God, prayer of good friends and determination to not give up.  You can too.

You may be struggling with your weight, I was obviously there too.  At least twice in my life I weighed around 300 lbs., probably over 300.  I can tell you that you CAN do something about your health.

You could be immobile, but you can still do something about your health!  You can eat better, drink water, make food choices that boost your body, soul and mind and not tear them down.  I've seen so much lately that when the body is in balance, the mind, soul and spirit are all lifted.  This all has to start in your spirit and you have to dig down and find that fire in the belly, but once that desire finds its way out to the body, the body can then end up lifting the spirit as well.

You may have major drama in your family that rips apart your soul on a daily basis.  You may turn to food, drugs, alcohol or abuse of your body to deal with the pain.  You MUST understand that you are so precious, YOU are worthy of respect.  Every human being of this planet regardless of their outward appearance or attitude is still worthy of respect and that includes YOU.

For so many years I put myself down.  In my head I was my worst critic.  No matter what I did, it wasn't good enough.  No matter how I looked, it wasn't good enough.  If this is you, STOP.  Stop right there and learn to love yourself, right where you are no matter what mess your life is in.  If you can never love yourself, you will never have any love to share with another in this life.  And if you can't share love, then you are going to have a very lonely existence.

And this brings me back to the ruck.  The ruck events, even the Light (which again isn't easy), but is the easiest of the options to choose from will push you to a point where you have to choose what you are going to do.  Are you going to quit?  Or are you going to dig down inside yourself to the pit of your being and keep going.  This applies not just in doing a fitness challenge like I did, but in life.

Our society at one point celebrates winners, and at the same time tells us it's OK to quit.  No problem at all, everybody quits.  Well you aren't everybody, and I hope when times get tough in life that you won't quit but keep going.  Sometimes you just have to stand still in life when the hurricane rages around you, and just be still.

I hope this post reaches you and you will be encouraged by the humble story of a guy that has gone farther than he could ever imagine and hasn't arrived yet.  I'm still pushing, still have struggles and bad days.  But Lord willing I will continue to grow, get stronger and continue to push myself until I drop dead or the Lord calls His children home.  Wouldn't you rather live that way?  Why just settle?  So many people do and rarely look back on their lives with much joy.

Love to you all, and until next time "Please sit on your sandals!".

Aye!